i just feel awful

have you ever done something that made you feel like you were the worst person in the world? even though you know that there are worse people - murderers, corrupt politicians, thieves, you know the type - you still feel like scum and you know you've hurt the people who matter the most. welcome to my world. it stinks. i've spent the last hour bawling my eyes out and filling a great deal of tissues with tears and other yucky stuff, and the tears just won't stop. i feel sickeningly guilty and selfish. i know you're dying to know what i did, what morally dishonest or corrupt thing i did that's made me feel this way. it's actually what i didn't do...i didn't call my mom back soon enough. she called me yesterday at 4pm and i didn't call her back until 2-something today. she has been sick with worry and is very VERY upset that i changed plans and didn't fill her in. i'm not a mom, i don't know what it's like when your kid doesn't return your call right away, and i don't know what it's like to be awake half the night wondering if something happened to them or if they're just lazy and didn't pick up the phone (neither was the case with me). but the guilt is eating me up and the crying is getting old. can i please melt into a puddle and disappear for a little while?